Some of the best advice I received is to position your boat towards the destination. At some point, I will arrive at the predetermined destination. When I received this advice, I was a sophomore in college, and during this time, I was highly anxious about not fulfilling all my goals or dreams. During this moment, I was also very nervous that there was not enough time to fulfill my goals and objectives. I am very thankful for the advice my mentor Dr.P gave me. He told me that if I am the boat’s captain and map out where I am going before setting out on my journey, any storm or obstacles that throw me off course will only be temporary. These storms and obstacles are brief because the map is always a reference point. The map will always guide me back to the final destination. Mapping out my life was something I did before this conversation, but I wasn’t planning or accounting for the temporary obstacles. Before this conversation, I would let the temporary setbacks deter me from the final destination. The temporary setbacks, I believed, were a sign of giving up on the goal. Since this conversation, I have been allowed opportunities to put this advice to practice. Through this practice, He reminded me of the additional dissertation that sometimes you must regroup, re-evaluate, and re-analyze the course you charted. For example, I planned to go to grad school right after college, but then I saw the price. So I decided to regroup and think about ways to get to grad school without paying an arm and a leg (tuition reimbursement).

I learned a couple of things about myself by implementing this advice. The first one is I struggle with perfectionism severely. The smallest detail was not going according to plan, and I was an emotional wreck with crocodile tears. I had to acknowledge how much my perfectionism took away from enjoying the journey and the final destination. I would focus on the things I couldn’t control instead of focusing on the things I could. I still find myself falling into this negative pattern at times. To combat perfectionism, I use SMART goals. SMART goals genuinely helped me to set realistic expectations for myself. The acronym means S-specific, M-Meaningful, A-Achievable, and T-time bound. For example, for this blog, I used the SMART goal: Every Tuesday, I will write and gather my pictures. I will specifically write about the life lessons I have learned or am currently experiencing. I will post and edit my writing every Friday. I will measure the meaningfulness of my blog by auditing my internal emotions and feelings. My new mindset is I either learn or succeed, but I never fail.

The second thing I learned about myself is I try to rush the progress. Everyone knows the saying, “Trust the process,” but I find myself questioning if I truly trust the process, especially when things go wrong. It is easy to trust the process when everything is going well. When things are going a little too well for me, I feel like I have a false sense of security. I almost anticipate something wrong happening, which can lead me to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is the current mountain that I am trying to figure out how to navigate/identify. To combat self-sabotage, I believe therapy has been the most beneficial. EMDR has helped me to desensitize and reframe my past traumatic experiences healthily. Therapy has helped me to identify the triggers that lead me to self-sabotage.

The third and final realization about myself is that if I spend too much time planning, thinking, and theorizing. But I need to spend more time taking action. Simply put, I need to work on taking action. Because I spend too much time in my head, I take myself down the negative “what if” rabbit hole. Being cautious is needed in every situation. The emotion of fear serves its purpose as a necessary emotion for survival. Still, crippling fear and anxiety do not help in every journey/situation. I’ve had to remind myself that it is normal to feel worried about doing things I have never done before, but we have to start somewhere. I also have the internal conversation of, “What if I fail?” and I remind myself, “But, What if you fly?” A practical step that I used to stop procrastinating is Eisenhower’s Urgent/Important principle which breaks tasks down into categories of Important and urgent, important but not urgent, not important but urgent, and not necessary or urgent. For example, paying my electric bill is urgent and important. Working out and caring for my physical health is important but not urgent. Responding promptly to a co-worker who needs my assistance is not crucial but urgent. Lastly, reading or writing in my journal is unimportant and not urgent. Eisenhower’s principle has allowed me to organize my actions further, make them more achievable, and lessen my procrastination.

To recap, mapping out the course and setting sail can be overwhelming. There will always be unforeseen storms that may break my sail or turn my boat 180 degrees, but they will not deter me or make me give up on my final destination. Additionally, spending too much time deciding what course to take can prevent me, but fear and anxiety are normal when getting the ball rolling for something new. Through all of my storms, I have learned the value of resilience. With each new journey, whether I make it to my final destination or not, whether I fall flat on my face or fly with the eagles, I learn much more about myself.

Affirmations:

-I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

-I am the creator of my reality

-I believe in myself

-When the going gets tough, the tough get going

-I can deal with any obstacles that come my way